By: Joan Gross
My worst quality is that I refuse to recognize that I have a worst quality. Looking at myself through rose colored glasses has taken a lifetime of discipline. For at least sixty years, I always compared myself to others and found myself sadly lacking. Everyone else was prettier (who cares?), everyone else was smarter (who knows?), and everyone else was more charming (who was the judge?)
One day a Jewish philosopher changed my life. He said that when someone sees a bad quality in you, they recognize it only because they own that very same attribute. So, if someone accuses you of being a procrastinator, or pompous or worse, a prevaricator, you might want to run for them thar hills. After all, when they point their accusatory, menacing forefinger at you and it hovers somewhere between your nose and your mouth, and you’re tempted to take a juicy bite out of it, three fingers are pointing back at them. They harbor at least three times that obnoxious quality.
Recognizing bad qualities in myself was like tying an elephant around my waist. My “bad qualities” loomed so large that I was defeated before I ever got off the ground.
If someone else was prettier, how would I find the right husband? If someone else was more charming and smarter, how would I get ahead in business? When I decided that I was just as pretty as anyone else (after garnering four husbands that were not right for me), I found the fifth. Since I think I am pretty, he also thinks I am pretty. Positive thinking is a miraculous quality.
Deciding I was just as charming, or even more, just as smart, at the very least, new avenues of thought have flashed through my brain and I feel capable of, and have accomplished, more in business than I ever dreamed.
Bad qualities you want to discuss? Not me. I have decided to see only good in me and in you too.