Why I Shop in My Friends’ Closets

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By Joan Gross

I believe this is not my first life. My DNA has inbred in me urges to move. Although my grandparents came from Poland, Russian and Lithuania, eastern music calls to me and spicy food temps and pleases my palette. Other people have possessions and are proud of them. I feel that I am owned and burdened by my possessions.

My lifetime norm was to not be concerned about clothing although I admit a passion for jewelry. Jewelry can be packed in a small box. In ten minutes jewelry can be ready to go.

Clothes however do express the person and I learned years ago that shopping malls would never let me express my essence. My tastes are eclectic and while none of my clothing is bold, they definitely look like I have stepped out of another time and place. I prefer blacks and browns with some color accents and long skirts with high necked tops.

Seeing my non-fashionable demeanor, my friends always believe I need clothes. They on the other hand have tons of clothing but their yoyo weights always seen to be lower or higher than my consistent size 10 and they always have a pile of clothing that is too big or too small. They point to the section in their closet to the clothes that no longer fit and let me shop away. Since they are used and old, they fit my taste.

My friends long ago gave up the notion that they could make me stylish so if they don’t have clothes that fit me, they take me to the community closets – thrift stores.

Shopping in friends’ closets has brought me to the viewpoint that used is good. I have gone from used clothing, to used cars and to used husbands.

Used husbands know better than to be angry when I am angry. They wait until I cool down before they let off steam. Used husbands know better than to say “Hey honey, gaining a little weight?” And more important, used husbands don’t want to be micromanaged or to micromanage like they did in their first marriages. The more marriages they’ve had, or in other words the more used they are, the more freedom they give you. My current used husband has decided that it is cool for him to live over 6000 miles away. We take turns visiting each other.

I am now shopping for used ex-boyfriends for friends that have no boyfriends in the hopes of making perfect matches.

If we put our heads together, maybe we could come up with ideas for used mattresses, discarded rinds from fruits long ago eaten or used TVs. What do ya think?

Author: Turnip Times

Sometimes the truth is funny and sometimes sad. But the truth is always the truth.

One thought on “Why I Shop in My Friends’ Closets

  1. Pingback: Extreme Minimalism: Clothes in the Closet « Becoming a Minimalist

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